Guest Post: Kerry Clare on Her Grandmother’s Rolling Pin

I come from a long line of people who knew how to make things. I wouldn’t even believe it, were it not for the evidence in my living room—a chair built by my great-grandfather, a tall bookshelf my grandfather built years ago for my mother. Whereas I consider it an achievement that two weeks ago I pieced together a Canadian Tire bistro set. A table and two chairs that will no doubt fall apart in a few seasons, cheaply made and sold in a flat pack.

But of all the solid wooden things that connect me to my family’s past, the most important is my rolling pin. It was my grandmother’s, and I acquired it after she died. At the time, she was living in a retirement home suite with a kitchenette, a mini-fridge, no oven to speak of, so it seems surprising that she still had her rolling pin, but perhaps it was something she wanted to hold on to—as you do with a rolling pin.

It is a beautiful object, but heavy—it’s extraordinarily painful to have it roll off the counter and land on your toe. Made with smooth wood with intricate grains, and I can count the rings of the tree it used to be. The handles are moulded for a good grip, and excellent hardware inside ensures a steady roll as I push it across a sheet of pastry. And did you know that when rolling pastry, you only roll outwards in one direction? Not back and forth at all, like a steamroller, but just push it out once, perhaps again. Flip the pastry and do the same thing on the other side.

I didn’t know anything about pastry until I was in my late twenties when I was suddenly struck by the New Domesticity bug endemic among women my age. Though the time was right—I’d recently gotten married, I finally had a real kitchen, and a canister full of flour. And suddenly, I was itching to make things from scratch. To make pie. To claim my inheritance, I suppose, and prove that I too could make things. And also so that I could eat pie.

My grandmother’s pies were excellent, a staple of family gatherings. Usually apple (topped with vanilla ice cream), or pumpkin at Thanksgiving. My other grandmother made pies too, though hers were less crafted—her speciality was “chocolate pie,” which was Jello pudding in a pre-made crust, though she also did a mean lemon meringue. But that there was something “grandmotherly” about my pie-making didn’t immediately occur to me, not until long after I’d become a pastry maven and had been rolling my grandmother’s rolling pin for awhile. I’d been envisioning my baking as a new frontier. I hadn’t considered that my baking hobby, like the rolling pin itself, would be one of the few connections I have to my foremothers.

But the connection is complicated. In her fascinating 2009 book, Baking as Biography, historian and folklorist Diane Tye riffles through her own mother’s recipe box to learn about how Canadian women lived in the middle of the twentieth century. That a wife and mother would bake, she explained, was simply expected, and what she baked would be dictated by her class and status, by where she lived, and how she was marketed to by companies that made things like gelatine and chocolate chips. And also what was in fashion: marshmallows, and coconut for exotic occasions.

But why did so few of these women pass their baking know-how on to their own daughters? Tye suggests a few reasons: feminism, not to mention instant baking mixes, would have made these women’s knowledge seem obsolete by the 1960s and ‘70s. And moreover, for many of them, baking was less a hobby and a passion than a time-consuming chore.

I don’t know if this was the case for my own grandmother. We didn’t talk that much, and most of the things I wonder about her it didn’t occur to me to wonder until after she was gone. That she kept her rolling pin until the end, however, suggests it was important. I always felt as though her baking was her way of showing affection, much like the obligatory letters she used to write me when I was at camp—usually imploring me to be a good girl. My grandmother was someone for whom to do what was expected of her was very important.

It was never quite as important to me, which is why it might surprise my grandmother that I’ve been giving her rolling pin such a work-out over the last decade. That I have inherited her affinity for pastry. That a part of her legacy lives on in my kitchen, with every pie I make.

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Kerry Clare is a National Magazine Award-nominated writer, and editor of the anthology The M Word: Conversations About Motherhood, which was published to rave reviews in 2014.  Her essays, reviews and short fiction have appeared most recently in The Globe and Mail, Chatelaine, Joyland, Canadian Notes & Queries and The New Quarterly.  Kerry teaches “The Art of Blogging” at the University of Toronto, is editor of 49thShelf.com, and writes about books and reading at her popular website, Pickle Me This.

 

 

5 thoughts

  1. I love the theme you guys are writing about this week! I can smell my grandmother’s kitchen and see all the 1970’s decor that we tried to save after she passed away. I kept many of her kitchen items, mainly because so much time was spent in the kitchen… but I do not think her time in the kitchen defined her as a woman.
    As a mother of 9 children, who survived life challenges like the loss of an infant, an alcoholic husband, and a family business, I see her as the rock of our family. Since her passing, during difficult times, we always return to the kitchen baking the recipes that bring us comfort… my grandmother’s pies, soups, roast, mashed potatoes… the list goes on and on.
    I was not one of the cousins, though, who inherited the gift of cooking. I was the one who went off to college in the US and I was the one consumed by athletics, missing many summer vacations in small town Manitoba with my grandparents. But now that I am older, I’ve realized that it is not necessarily just the recipes that protect our family heritage… it is the time. The time spent in the kitchen with my kids, letting them help and contributing to new versions of old recipes.
    I have many of my favorite artifacts from my grandmother’s kitchen… but most importantly, I bring the value of ‘family’ to my kitchen… the most important ingredient Memere invested in.
    Thank you for sharing all your ‘cool’ family heirlooms!

    1. I love your thoughts on what really matters in the kitchen. And it’s so interesting how all of us have thought back through matriarchal lines. Makes me think if the history of objects naturally tells women’s stories best, and if these are how women’s stories were carried down when they weren’t part of official History with a capital H.

  2. Hi Kerry. Your grandmother, my sister-in-law, was an inspiration to me in the baking area as well. She made the best ever butter tarts with pastry made from scratch, probably rolled out with the rolling pin you now have. However, her greatest baking legacy with our family is Key Lime Pie. We import the key lime juice from the states since I have not been able to find it anywhere in Canada. I have a couple of bottles in my pantry now brought from South Carolina at Christmas by our daughter, Diana. I also remember the carrot salad she always had in the fridge, and her tidbits of advice for me as a young bride, such as soaking broccoli before cooking to get rid of any creepy crawlies. We had broccoli for dinner tonight, soaked ahead of time, of course. She was a good cook, your grandmother!

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